The Atlas Effect.

The Atlas effect has set in.

What is the Atlas effect, you may ask? It's that feeling that you're carrying the world upon your shoulders, that there is no possible way you can move, and that at any moment you may fall. You want so badly to keep holding up the world, and would even like to uplift it further. But it's forcing you down. And there's no way to fight it.

I feel like this happens every semester, around this time. Finals are coming up, everything is gearing up to wind down, and everyone would find more enjoyment shooting someone -- including themselves -- in the foot, rather than taking care of their obligations and responsibilities.

During this time, there are so many things that are heavy on our hearts and minds. This can include tests, meetings, checking things off of our to-do lists, and even the people in our lives. Recently, I've been told by multiple people that they feel as if they're going through a bout of depression. That they're just not themselves, and they can't seem to remember how to return to the person they once understood themselves to be. I can honestly say, I've been there. But that doesn't make it any easier to watch a loved one suffer.

The hardest thing for me to face is the fact that I, personally, cannot fix people. I often find myself in pursuit of the perfect words to say, at just the right time, in just the right place, so that someone gets those warm, fuzzy feelings and believes in himself or herself again. I just want so badly for people to be happy, and when I hear of these negative feelings and thoughts, it breaks my heart.

I believe very strongly in the power of Jesus Christ and His ability and willingness to save our souls. And personally, I think that you can't believe in the good without the bad -- that is to say, in addition to believing in our Redeemer, I also believe that there are spirits actively working to distract us from turning to our Heavenly Father and allowing Him to be our everything. What better time to distract us than when our bodies and minds are weak?

God has been using reminiscence recently to remind me of who He is and why He is the one who holds the world in His hands -- not me. Like I've said before, I've had to face low points too. It's not that I'm too ashamed to share details, it's just that this would be a way-the-heck-too-long blog post if I did. And recently, God has reminded me of what has come out of those low times in my life. It's when I learn the most about myself. It's when God shows me the most about Himself. It's when I'm the most vulnerable, when I thirst most for God's Word, and when it's easiest for me to hear His whisper. By bringing me back to these places in my life, He's told me, "I know you want to fix people, Anna. Trust me, I don't want them to have to go through this either. But it's the only way I can get their attention. And it will be worth it in the end."

It will all be worth it in the end.

May the grace of God find you where you least expect it today. May the Holy Spirit fill your soul and bring you peace. I pray that you know there's nothing wrong with not feeling happy at all times, and that you find people you love and respect enough to be honest with in such instances. But when you do laugh, I hope you laugh harder than you've laughed in ages, and that the love of and for those around you fills your heart as you've never experienced before. As you go into the world today, trust that you are deeply loved and that you never walk alone.

Do the world a favor; be exactly who you are. Nothing more, nothing less.